Hello friends! I hope this post finds you all well and healthy in the New Year. There's something magical about the beginning of a new year. January usually brings out the urge to create in me. This year is different, though.
On Christmas Day, my mother passed away unexpectedly in her sleep. The results from an autopsy aren't back yet, but I'm guessing it was her heart. She was sixty-two. We had a lovely memorial service for her last Friday, but the pain and loss is still weighing heavy on my siblings and me.
I contemplated even posting this month, and as I sit here writing this post for January's Insecure Writer's Support Group , I am certain some of you have been where I am. This empty, dark place that seems to drain every ounce of creativity I have. All I want to do is lounge around, read, watch TV, and sleep. I know at some point, I'll have to get up and dust off my britches and push forward.
I haven't written a single word since she passed. I don't know if it's normal or not, but when I sit down, my brain is filled with fog and all I do is stare out the window. Normally, I can write through stressful moments; this feels different. My nerves are raw, and my heart aches.
My fear (or insecurity) is not getting a grip on my creativity again. Will my desire to write come back to me?
Three days ago, I decided to pick up another novel I wrote a year ago and began working on some revisions. I'm finding it a bit easier than trying to write. The novel is a new adult romance mystery with a quirky female protag. I actually found myself giggling at the draft yesterday.
I'm ordering Denise Jaden's WRITING WITH A HEAVY HEART this week. I'm hoping it'll give me a few pointers in using writing to deal with my own grief, while also helping me use my grief and loss and turn it into something productive.
To check out what the Insecure Writer's Support Group is all about, click on the link above. :)
I hope to be back next month with a more upbeat, supportive post.