Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Writing Lesson From a Soccer Girl

Ashmaster's ref. gear
My fourteen-year-old daughter taught me a valuable writing lesson this week. How to embrace my vulnerability and put myself out there. She's played soccer for the past seven years, and she admits she still has a lot to learn.

Starting off in youth league soccer, she now plays on a traveling competitive team, and most recently, began training with her high school team. The junior varsity and varsity teams have not been announced yet, but since the second week of school, she's been practicing with the varsity group. Yay, Ashmaster! (Ashley's nickname)

Last week, Ashley was invited by the varsity soccer coach to begin reffing youth soccer (6-8 yr. olds). Tuesday evening, she reffed her first game. Sure she was nervous, downright terrified, I'd have to venture. Have you ever been to a youth soccer game? The parents are brutal to the poor souls in the yellow jerseys!

Ash is in yellow (look at those cross-armed parents!)
Her father and I set up our chairs, far away from all the parents to watch her in action. (I didn't want to be tempted to knock one of them out if they yelled at her.) I've never been so proud of her as I was Tuesday evening. She embraced her vulnerability, and put herself in the middle of a shark tank. She's only eighty-five lbs. and 4' 11", not much bigger than those 8 yr. olds, but she did it.

Watching her referee, I learned a valuable writing lesson. If you're passionate about something, you've got to acknowledge your insecurities, embrace your vulnerability, and put yourself out there. It's a simple concept. If you don't try, you'll never succeed.
Bravery at its finest
I'm still trying to find the guts to put myself out there, completely. My fear is that when I make a few changes, I'll lose followers here on the blog. But at some point, I need to let the fear go, and embrace my inner weirdness, my quirks that I hide from most people. It's time to be true to me, and stop worrying about what others will think. At least that's what Ashley taught me this week. Despite her fear, she went for it.

Sorry for the length of the post. I intended for this to be short & sweet. :)

I found a fabulous article in Psychology Today about creativity and fear. You can read it HERE. The author has seven helpful tips for conquering fear. I LOVE #3. :P The social media tip is great, too.

***Next week's post, a couple of interesting characters will take over my blog on the 18th. O_O 

*** Oct. 24th my blog is scheduled for its BIG change.

Be true to you, folks!


  1. You and your daughter are an inspiration, Candy. It's so awesome that Ashley put herself out there like that, and that it motivated you to do the same with your blog/ writing.

    I look forwards to the changes you have in store, and know I for one will continue to support you whatever you do.

    Thanks for the link, I'm going to read it now.

  2. Good for your daughter!
    I'm who I am on my blog. I do my best to avoid controversy, but there is one thing I recently decided not to hold back on - my faith.

  3. Yay for strong teens. And yay for strong writers. Putting yourself out there takes guts. So when you do it, you better be ready to embrace it! makes you a stronger person and a better writer!

  4. Reffing can be so tough! My stepson wants to do it for baseball this coming summer and I already have conflicting feelings. I've seen grown adults tear teenage refs apart. But, like you said, it's a great character builder.

  5. Good for her! As someone who has played soccer since I was four, I TOTALLY understand the pressures of reffing. And its NOT the kids. The parents can be ruthless. It's nice you were there to support her for her first game.

    And its so true. I've recently decided to put a little more of 'me' on my blog. A little less formal, but still professional. We connect with people when we know them and want to know more about them. Good for you for facing those vulnerable parts.

    And congrats to your daughter for all her soccer success! Enjoy it. There is NOTHING like high school soccer. She'll never get it again.

  6. It's lovely that you learned something from your daughter, especially such an important lesson. Don't be afraid - it'll all work out as it's supposed to. :-)

  7. Two thumbs up for Ashley. Way to get out there and take a chance for something she's passionate about. I can see how you tie that in with your writing pursuit. It is SCARY to embrace it, but when you do, you may discover something more wonderful than you ever knew :-)

  8. Congratulations on finding courage to be who you are. It is scary to put ourselves out in front of others, but I think you're right that,in connecting with others, we have to let our true selves be seen. And you will probably find people will flock to you, and not run away. I'm looking forward to the 24th!

  9. Go Ashley! That's awesome that your daughter can inspire you to do what you love and embrace the challenges that go with it. Hope she makes that varsity squad and keeps reffing those little squirts! Your post about her reminded me to stay positive and keep working on my story (including my 14 year-old soccer star who makes the varsity squad). Great post, and a great lesson for all the pessimists out there.

    P.S., I filled out the 'Lovely Blogger Award' meme and credited you. Stop by and check out my answers! :)

  10. @Clare, glad I could help some!
    @Alex, *be true to you*
    @Ink in the book, thanks!
    @Jess, God help the soul who picks on Ashley!
    @Kelley, good for you putting a bit more you in the blog. You're so sporty; thanks for your congrats! :)
    @Lexa, thank you!!
    @Angela, I am so proud of her!
    @Lara, hopefully I won't disappoint. :)
    @Insomniac #4, varsity would be great, but I'll take jv too! I'm glad my post helped you. Pessimism is one of my awful traits. :( I have to constantly fight it and rarely congratulate myself. Headed over!
    @Melissa, thanks!!

  11. Fun post! I know how hard it is to put yourself out there and just go for it, but it's worth it, and much, much better than living with regrets!

  12. I think children (and then grandchildren) inspire us, if we just pay attention. :)

    Great post.

  13. reffing is another job i couldnt do, definitely takes passion and GUTS!
    awesome for her and for you! she got it from somewhere! excited for your big change!

  14. Awesome post. I too am one trying to put myself out there and it's difficult. I read the piece you suggested, and love the banana bread, coffee and window idea, but will have to go with green tea and the sun porch, because I don't need the extra five pounds. I enjoy writing in the morning and evening, but I'll take special notice of it now.
    I could hear the pride you have for your daughter, so beautiful. Thanks for sharing, it's nice to know I'm not the only wallflower out here.

  15. Amen, my friend. Can't wait to see the big change!

  16. @Meradeth, thanks!
    @Teresa, you're so right.
    @Tara, guts for sure.
    @Yolanda, it was a great article, and no you're not the only one out there. :)
    @Ace, thank you!

  17. Putting yourself out there at any age can be tough. And there is always one more thing to learn. I love learning from my children. Its so refreshing to see them grown, and take risks, and just become people.


    1. Yes, I learn something from my little people every day. :)