Thursday, November 24, 2011

Thanksgiving Thoughts...Where, Oh Where Has My Writing Spark Gone?

We are all sleeping in here at our house, all except my husband, who's working. Police Officers do not always get the holidays off. We arrived home after midnight last night after visiting our Nana in ICU. She's spent the better part of the last two weeks fighting for her life after suffering a major stroke and then a cerebral hemorrhage. Now, she's battling pneumonia. 

Yesterday, she endured seven hours of an adverse reaction to morphine. Had the admitting nurses noted her chart correctly two weeks ago, they would've known NOT to administer her an Opiate drug. I won't go on about the ordeal, as it was extremely traumatic. I'd like to think it was an honest mistake, and that they will now care for our Nana like she was their Nana. One can only hope.

As the matriarch of our family lies in her hospital bed, with many color-coded tubes running in and out of her frail body, I am saddened today. Thanksgiving is usually spent at her home, as we all bustle around her cramped kitchen preparing dinner. 

I ask that you count your blessings today as you sit around your table. Consider yourself lucky to be sitting with your loved ones, friends & family. I'm comforted by the mere fact that Nana probably has no clue it's Thanksgiving today.

With all of the current stress in the family, my writing spark has dwindled. I can't find it at the moment. I feel like Sweet Polly Purebred, searching for her Underdog. "Where, oh where has my writing spark gone? Oh where, oh where can it be?" Then along with not writing comes the crushing guilt of not writing. It's a vicious cycle.

As I sit here, typing this post, it occurs to me that I must cut myself some slack. Relax. Take a breath. Do some yoga and just be. Be happy that Nana is alive. Be content with what I have written in the past and all that I WILL write in the future. 

Hmmm...what a novel idea! Be happy with what I have. Count my own blessings.

I think I'll get in the kitchen and bake those Spiced Rum Pecan Pies I've been meaning to bake for the holiday.

Happy Thanksgiving, my friends & followers. 
May your day be beautiful.


  1. I'm so sorry to hear about your Nana, and I've been through the mis-prescription of drugs for a grandparent, so I can empathise with you on that completely. I hope she gets better soon.

    I know it's hard to do a lot of things when something preys on your mind like this, and writing should be the least of your worries right now. You'll have time to write later, and the spark will return when you're ready. Take some time for yourself, and enjoy those spiced rum pecan pies :).

  2. Thank you for your sweet sentiments! I think what makes it so difficult, is that the family realizes these are the fleeting first moments of finality.

    Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

  3. prayers to your nana for a speedy recovery and to you for peace of mind!

  4. Candy,

    I'm so sorry for what you're going through right now. It is so hard to see loved ones suffer. And it's hard when we have to trust them to someone else's care. I'm praying, along with you that she will get the loving, compassionate care that she deserves. And I'm glad that as you wrote this post, you realized that writing, or not writing, is not all that important at the moment. Don't forget to take care of yourself through it all.

  5. Thanks for your prayers, Tara! Inluvwithwords, thank you also for your sweet comments!

    Hope your Holiday was great!

  6. Sending good wishes for healing your grandma's way! May you have strength and take care of yourself. Yes, pecan pies!

  7. Sorry I'm so late here, Candy. Sending hugs for sick Nana. And you, too.

    My writing spark lit up this past Monday after a long absence. Not sure why, but I'm glad it did. Yours will, too!

  8. Thank you, Catherine & Angelina!

    Nana is doing much better in the past three days. Incredible. We never thought she'd leave ICU, but Tuesday, they moved her onto another floor where they are dealing with the pneumonia. We are all amazed.

    Well, my stress has manifested into physical aches and pains. I've always dealt with tension in the shoulders, however, I visited with my massage therapist yesterday, and she thinks my skeletal system in the back is out of alignment. I have severe numbness, tingling and a burning sensation in my hands. There's a pinched nerve or two in the shoulder area on the left side. She wants me to visit a chiropractor soon.

    Funny how the mind can cause the body such grief!

    Thank you all for your well wishes. Nana is recovering. :))

    Angelina, I'm so happy that your writing spark was lit recently! Good for you. :) I know mine will happen. I think about it night and day.